It’s time to turn rejection into redirection
Choosing to be a writer/author is choosing to understand the nature of rejection, because there will be a lot of it.
Written by Susan Pohlman
I’ve been thinking a lot about rejection for writers.
In February, Phoenix Writers Network hosted a two-part online presentation about self-publishing. Dozens of authors attended, all of whom want to see their books in print in 2025.
Many, like our speaker fantasy author Cindy Kibbee, tried to go the traditional publishing route. Cindy worked for years to find an agent to represent her. Her choice to self-publish was simply a redirection of her efforts. Both traditional and self publishing routes are rewarding experiences. I know because I have experienced both.
Though many of us long for the traditional experience, it is not always the best choice for a variety of reasons: target audience, timing, lack of platform development, etc. The days are long gone where self-publishing is only about "rejection" from a traditional publisher.
My crash course in rejection
Let's take a minute, though, to think about rejection. None of us like it, but choosing to be a writer/author is choosing to understand the nature of rejection, because there will be a lot of it. It's simply part of the writing experience. When I first started writing 30 years ago, I did not realize I would be taking a crash course in rejection.
I won't sugar coat it; it was soul crushing. Looking back, however, I now understand that each rejection forced me back to the page, back to reading and research, or back to the classroom to learn my craft.
Over time, I reframed my thoughts about rejection. I weirdly began to look forward to tough critique as each helped me grow. A thick skin allows me to see each story/essay/book as a product. I look to others to tell me why my product doesn't work, why it won't sell. I don't see it, anymore, as a reflection of my talents or creativity. It is a reflection of the need to study craft again and again.
Keep calm: Query on
We must learn to be tenacious as well. One or two agents/editors rejecting your book/story/essay means very little. If you've put the long hours and education into writing and have followed best practices for readying your manuscript, the rule of thumb is to keep querying. Even Kathryn Stockett, author of The Help, admitted that she received over 60 rejections across three and a half years before she landed an agent.
Trust the work you’ve done
Many of you know I penned a middle-grade novel (that I rewrote in a hundred different iterations) that I have not been able to sell. I did the work. I even tested it on three different 4th grade classes of varying economic backgrounds and cultures and watched the kids devour it. I know the story works, but I have yet to find an agent to champion it.
Unfortunately, middle-grade is the only genre that it is considered unwise to self-publish since sales are largely controlled by librarians. I will continue to query until the day I die. At this point, it's a game to me. I put it aside and go back to it time and again, though I move on to other projects.
Tips to navigate rejection
Let's all take a deep breath and appreciate the time and love that we put into our craft. It's not easy, but it is rewarding. Here are a few steps to consider if you are struggling with rejection:
Acknowledge your emotions: Accept that it's okay to feel hurt, disappointed, or upset.
Don't judge yourself: Avoid blaming or comparing yourself to others.
Reflect on the situation: Consider what happened and why you were rejected.
Identify your strengths: Focus on your abilities and goals.
Develop your skills: Figure out what you can improve to become a better candidate.
Make a plan: Decide what your next steps will be.
Celebrate your losses: View rejection as an opportunity to learn and move on.
Rejection advice from famous writers
Here are a few quotes from famous writers and authors to mull over:
“When a magazine rejects your story or poem, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t ‘good’ enough. It means that magazine thought its particular readers didn’t need that exact story or poem. Editors think of readers: what’s in it for the reader? There is a cult of celebrity, too, in this country, and many magazines publish only famous people, and reject better work by unknown people.” ~ Annie Dillard
“[When I was a reader for The Paris Review,] I learned how many writers there were out there, and it was terrifying! But I also learned not to take the process too seriously. I figured that if I, a nobody in an un-airconditioned East Village apartment (batches of manuscripts were sent to me there), had the power to reject the slush pile, I couldn’t worry too much when my own stuff was rejected. It may have made me more resilient . . . and it definitely spurred me to submit to lots and lots of places at once, and not be so precious about it.” ~Jennifer Egan
“You must keep sending work out; you must never let a manuscript do nothing but eat its head off in a drawer. You send that work out again and again, while you’re working on another one. If you have talent, you will receive some measure of success—but only if you persist.” ~Isaac Asimov
“I think being rejected can be very beneficial, especially if the work really isn’t good. If it gets published, you are almost certain to find yourself looking back with great embarrassment!” ~Stephen King
Phoenix Writers Network
Having a group of authors you can talk to, share ideas with, and learn from can help you redirect your creative rejections. Phoenix Writers Network meets six times a year. Meetings are held via Zoom and tickets are available on Eventbrite.
If you would like to purchase the recordings of Self-Publishing 101: Everything You Wanted to Know But Didn’t Know to Ask hosted by Cindy Kibbe, reach out to me at susan@susanpohlman.com.
ABOUT SUSAN POHLMAN
ARIZONA AUTHOR SUSAN POHLMAN IS A FREELANCE WRITER, EDITOR, AND WRITING COACH BASED IN PHOENIX. BORN IN MONTCLAIR NEW JERSEY, LIFE HAS TAKEN HER TO OHIO, ITALY, NORTH CAROLINA, AND MORE. HER SHORT FILMS AND MEMOIR HAVE WON MULTIPLE AWARDS. SUSAN FOUNDED AND DIRECTS THE PHOENIX WRITERS NETWORK, A COMMUNITY OF WRITERS WHO MEET BIMONTHLY TO TALK CRAFT, PUBLISHING, AND THE WRITING LIFE.